Wedding Bells

Maybe this is news to you, maybe not. But recently, while the Jonas Brothers were at their concert in Radio City, Nick performed a song called "Wedding Bells" which was rumored to be about Miley. But of course it was about Miley.

This one line in his song "Cause if you recall, our anniversary falls 11 nights into June." is extremely similar to Miley's line in her autobiography written awhile back which said "I remember the exact date, June 11 2006. It was the day I met my first love."

Nick said that as a songwriter (actually applies to all writers), he has the responsibility to write about topics that make him uncomfortable. "It's about enjoying those moments, and staying in those moments. And some are momentary in the sense that you have to write a song and then apologize for it later."

Okay so I did some research after hearing the song, and somehow ended up reading the entire chapter in Miley's autobiography about her 'Prince Charming', and the full lyrics to Nick's song. And I'm still not sure if I was just over emotional in that moment, or had been watching too many episodes of The Voice on YouTube, but I began to cry. Not like the "that's so sweet" kind of soft crying, but the hardcore, hand-over-mouth and hand-over-heart crying. Because something in me identified itself with them. The same broken-heartedness and maturity that I knew could only come with loving somebody.

Miley wrote, "My mom doesn't believe there's such thing as being too young or too naive to fall in love. In my family, when you fall in love, that's it. No one called it puppy love, or made fun of me."
And she said, "I had my biggest heartbreak at 14, although that sounds crazy, because I was 14. But that was what love was to me."

I can't be the only one that gets that, right? That gets told that I'm too young. That gets told that I may think I love him, but I don't even know love. And that I should try to get over it. Because that's about the only thing anyone ever said to me. And for a really long time, I was in denial myself. Thinking like, 'I'll probably look back on this when I'm older and be like, he meant nothing to me, I was just young and had my priorities screwed up.' But no. I realized now that that is NOT true. Because that boy meant a lot to me. And many years down the road, chances are, he still would. Even if we aren't close anymore, or worse - aren't even friends... if he were to come to me, I would be there for him in a second. For anything.

And that's frightening to me - how much you can love someone. Even if they don't love you anymore, or don't love you back at all. It's frightening how you are willing to sacrifice your happiness for theirs. It's frightening how you never run out of second chances. It's frightening how every word they say and thing they do means 100 times more than anyone else. It's frightening how you care more about their wellbeing than your own. It's frightening how you lose all ability to imagine yourself loving anyone else.

"No. I don't want to love, if it's not you."

But it's also incredible.

Before playing their new song for the first time live, Nick made a speech about how he had to write this song because it was how he was feeling in the moment. He also said "It's an incredible thing and it should be valued when you appreciate someone and care for someone."

And I agree. Everyone experiences love in their own way. For some, it could mean loving that person enough to wait years and years to be with them, and for others, it could mean loving that person enough to push them away. So don't go telling someone that they don't truly love somebody because they didn't do this or feel that. It's different for everyone. But when we do fall for someone, it will make us a better person that we ever thought that we could be. It will make us do things and say things that we never thought we'd be able to. And that's how you know if you love someone. See, it might tear us down, but in the long run, we come out of it stronger. And that's what makes it so incredible to love someone.

And I just sat there, in front of my laptop, like... wow. I was hopelessly in love with him, wasn't I? And no one was going to tell me otherwise. And since Wedding Bells was playing in the neighboring tab, I was forced to think about what if one day, he came to me, and told me that he was getting married? And what if it wasn't to me? Of course, I'd be upset, jealous as hell even. But would I stop him? From being the happiest that he could be? Of course not.

"I don't want to hear the wedding bells chime."

Nick carried on to say, "But as you move on in your life, and move into maturity, you have to take the experience with you as memories and not your reality." I guess he wrote that song in the moment and although he may not feel the same way as he did writing it, the song reflects the feelings that remain and reveal themselves even after a long while.

Almost 2 years before I decided to stop waiting on you. And until today, I still don't know if, in those almost 2 years, you knew that I was waiting. But I was.

I don't really know if Nick is over Miley and if Miley is over Nick. But it's been years since, and they've been with different people. Yet, I don't doubt that they are capable of feeling these feelings again, now.

What the hell is the definition of getting over somebody? You could stop thinking about them on a regular basis, and you could start liking other people. But if those old feelings start surfacing again, does it mean that you were never truly over them at all?

To me, I am over you. And that means that I am no longer in love with you. So I no longer crave to see you all the time, or text you 24/7. And I don't want to be with you anymore. But I still do love you. I still care when you're hurt. I still want you to find a girl as great as you are. I still want you to be happy. And ever so often, when we talk, I feel like I miss you. And I think that's something that will always be there. And it doesn't mean that I'm not over you. Because if getting over someone you were in love with, means having absolutely no feelings or care towards that someone anymore, I don't think I can ever get over you. To me, getting over someone simply means accepting things as they come. Accepting that you might not end up together, accepting that they might be with someone else. And being okay with it. You don't have to be pleased, or happy. Just... okay. 

So yeah. If you ever put me on the spot with an announcement like that, that you were in love with someone else and that you were incredibly happy, I'll give you a smile and tell you I'm happy for you. I might begin to hurt on the inside and let my feelings get the better of me for awhile. Maybe even write a song or a blog post that could potentially screw things up between us, then apologize for it. But in the end, I'll be okay. 

The In-Between

Click here, and listen to it as you read this.

Imagine a life without extremes.

It’s neither hot nor cold. The water doesn’t scorch your tongue, or freeze your brain. It’s just water. It’s neither wet nor dry. The rain doesn’t flood your home and carry your couch along with it, and the sun doesn’t turn your lawn brown. It’s just weather. It’s neither loud nor soft. You don’t have to stop breathing just to make out the words being said, and you don’t have to plug your ears to block out the noise being made. It’s just sound. It’s neither famous nor obscure. It’s not a hipster blog with 10,000 over followers, and it’s not a personal blog with only 1. It’s just a blog on tumblr. 

It’s not your best friend and it’s not your enemy. It’s not anyone that makes you melt, or drives you insane. It’s just another face in the crowd. It’s not a number that you’ve put on speed dial, and it’s not a number that you’ve blocked from your phone. It’s just a bunch of digits in your phonebook.

The in-between is not the cute guy in your algebra class that makes you smile with handwritten notes during lessons. Neither is it the only boy in your life that can make you cry yourself to sleep every single night. It’s not the first person you think of in the day and it’s not the last. Not someone that makes your heart flutter, not someone that make your fists clench. 

People don’t seem to notice anything unless it’s something extremely good, or extremely bad. Anything in-between, is just…there.

The in-between is a place. And it’s where I’m at. 

It’s no longer a schoolgirl crush. I’m no longer staying up late every night just to text you. And it’s no longer a grudge. I no longer avoid your presence or your phone calls. 

And it’s the same with you, isn’t it? 

If something were to happen to you, I wouldn’t be the first person you’d tell. I also wouldn’t be the person that you’d deliberately try to hide it from. I’d just be someone that heard about it. 

So that’s it then. 

No more jealousy, or disgust. I’m way past that. All that's left is feelings. Not hate, not love. Or maybe, it's both.

I no longer have to be with you every second of every day. I’m not pulling myself away, I’m not pushing myself closer. I’m just here. I’ve been to both extremes, from loving you to hating you. But if there’s one place that I’ve always been, it’s here. I’ve always been here. I’m always going to be here. And maybe that’s the problem.

I don’t love you. And I always will. 

The in-between is a place. And to me, it’s the worst place to be.

Taken from my personal tumblr.

Other tumblr blogs:

Hipster

Tropical/Indie

Soft Grunge

Follow me on Tumblr please?

Okay i'm majorly. MAJORLY. addicted to tumblr right now.
Still getting used to how it works though :x
Actually i haven't figured out how it works.
Like the whole layout is confusing ):
But yeah maybe you guys can help me?

Follow me, message me. Anything.
theincendiarycarnival.tumblr.com

Thank youuu :) x

Re-creating Fairytales

What is up with Hollywood and Fairytale-based movies?? I don't know if you guys have noticed, but there has been an increasing number of movies like these recently.

I mean, don't get me wrong, some of em are really good. And because it's originally based on a fairytale that we are all familiar with, we obviously know how it's gonna end. So why do we still enjoy watching them so much? We complain about lack of originality or cliche-ness in movies, but that's exactly what we love. Maybe Hollywood's catching on to this and is just giving us what we want. ;)

Let's recap shall we?

Cinderella:

Walt Disney's Cinderella (1950, original)

A Cinderella Story (2004)

Another Cinderella Story (2008)

A Cinderella Story: Once Upon A Song (2011)

Snow White:

Walt Disney's Snow White And The Seven Dwarfs (1937, original)

Sydney White (2007)

Enchanted (2007)

Mirror Mirror (2012)

Snow White And The Huntsman (2012)

Beauty And The Beast:

Beauty And The Beast (1946, original)

Wat Disney's Beauty And The Beast (1991)

Beauty And The Briefcase (2010)

Beastly (2011)

I think my favorite remake has to be Beastly (: maybe cause I just adore Vanessa Hudgens. And LOVE Alex Pettyfer haha. 

Okay, so we all know the "original" fairytales, and can identify the modern twist that was added in every movie right? Like in the original cinderella story, she lost her glass slipper, but in the subsequent movies, she began misplacing her iPod, her cellphone etc... 

Yeah. We all know the remake of the movies had some sort of twists or changes. But do we know the TRUE origins of some of these fairytales? Disney didn't write em all on their own. A lot of these fairytales were taken from Brothers Grimm, which if you don't know, write really gruesome, twisted stories. Disney simply slotted in a happy ending and made it popular. 

Interested to know how some of these fairytales were supposed to turn out? Great. So am I.

Little Red Riding Hood

So in the version we all read about as a kid, there's this little girl who's traveling through the woods to her Grandmother's house. And foolishly tells a wolf where she's heading to. 

He gets there first, eats the grandmother, climbs in bed and wears her clothes. She tells him how big his teeth are, etc and then he eventually eats her too. Then all of a sudden, a random woodsman comes in and kills the wolf with his axe, and cuts Red Riding Hood and her grandma out. HOORAY.

But in the original story, the wolf eats her and the grandma. And they die. The. End. That's  it. In other older versions, it was mentioned that the wolf cooked the grandmother and fed it to Red Riding Hood instead. And then ate her afterwards. How fabulous.

Snow White

This one we are pretty much still familiar with right? I mean, with all the recent Snow White movies and all. Okay so to recap, an evil queen thinks Snow White is prettier than her, sends a huntsman to kill her and bring back her heart as proof. The huntsman gives Snow a chance to run and she seeks refuge in a house with 7 dwarfs. 

The queen finds out she isn't really dead, and slips her a poisoned apple which puts her into a coma. Until the lovely prince comes along to wake her by kissing her. And they both live happily ever after.

What they didn't tell you, was how the queen didn't only want Snow White's heart for proof. But she wanted to eat it. In the original story, she had asked for Snow's liver, lungs, and other body parts to consume as well. 

Also, in the original story, Snow White was only 7 years old when the story occurred. So unless the prince was around that same age, there's a real question of Pedophillia in this story....

Cinderella

Probably the most commonly referred to fairytale. Ever. When ever the word "happy ending" comes up, we all immediately think of this one. So yes, the fairy godmother gives her a pumpkin carriage and a beautiful outfit and sends her off to this ball, where she meets her prince but has to run off at midnight.

He finds the slipper that fell off her foot while she was running, searches the whole town until he finds her. He finds her. The end.

But the part that either got lost in translation, or simply wasn't fit to be on the big screen, was that in their desperation to fit the glass slipper, Cinderella's two step-sisters mutilated their own feet. Cutting off the toes, and shaving off the heels. Whole ten yards, to fit into the slipper.

Yuck.

I'm pretty sure there's plenty more of where that came from. Could you imagine if Disney hadn't edited some of these stories? *Shudder* 

But recently, the gore and twisted-ness has slowly been creeping back in into the movies. Like in Snow White and the Huntsman, and Red Riding Hood (the Amanda Seyfried one). Who knows? Maybe they'll start unveiling the true versions of these fairytales soon. 

Updates (:

Hey, how's everyone doing! It feels like forever since I last posted. Been studying my ass off for the mid-year exams. Hope it pays off!

 Well, I'm currently in the process of trying to move this entire blog onto tumblr!!!! But it's harder than I thought ): that's probably just because I'm such a noob at all this online stuff.

So, updates!!!

#1. Wardrobe Makeover
I threw out half my wardrobe. (Literally.) Got rid of all the stuff I don't wear anymore and gave em away. But in case you're interested in buying some of em, click here. I also took a load of stuff I don't wear anymore and did lots of like reconstructing. ;) Here are some of my projects!

Go ahead and contact me if you're interested in any of em (: Or see more here.

All my friends always tell me I have a lot of clothes and yeah I agree. But like, I realized that majority of them sit in my closet, untouched for months, years, even. So might as well get rid of them right? I guess another reason I cleared out half my closet was to make space for more new stuff!

Each hanger in my closet used to hold 2 garments each. So yay each shirt gets its own hanger now (: plus, I have a whole list of items to get before my trip to Europe!

Speaking of which....

#2. Liberty Of The Seas
Did I forget to mention that Barcelona just happens to be the fashion capital of Spain? YAY. Also the home of:

I CAN'T WAIT! Just two more weeks of school, and it's the holidays!!! I'll be flying off to Barcelona on the 31st at 12am, (30th midnight) by Singapore airlines. (: Then staying 2 days in Barcelona before boarding the Liberty. And then it'll be non-stop sailing for a week! Then back to Barcelona for a couple more days before I fly back home (:

I think there'll be computers and wifi aboard the ship, but I don't know how I feel about uploading pictures from my camera into a random public space. So, I'll either bring my own laptop (very unlikely). Or I'll just upload pictures from my phone, then upload those from my camera when I'm back in Singapore.

So two full days of cruising, and 5 days where we'll be docked on various ports in Europe (:

Ports of calls on the cruise include:

Provence (Toulon), France

Villefranche (Nice), France

Livorno (Florence), Italy

Civitavecchia (Rome), Italy (Like in the Lizzie McGuire movei hahaha)

Naples (Capri), Italy

So I'll get a good mix of vintage shops, famous fashion brands, clear beaches and national monuments (:

Yeah that's about it for now. Will post soon, I promise!

Take care guys :) x

I told you so.

I'm sure nobody enjoys being wrong, or being proven wrong. But there are some rare occasions in which we don't mind if we are, or actually even wish that we were. Is that why we refuse to accept good news sometimes? Because we know that it's probably true, but we don't wanna be disappointed if it turns it's not. So we act like it could never happen, even though on the inside, you believe it will, and you're wishing that someone will prove you wrong. And that's because it's almost human instinct, a basic survival skill... to prepare for the worst, but hope for the best.

You know what I mean. Yeah, sure. I'm talking about telling everyone you're gonna "FAIL" a test, so no one has high expectations for you, including yourself. Then you kinda have that secret hope that you're gonna do well.

But I'm also talking about when someone tells you that they think your crush likes you. And on the inside, you're like.

But of course, you don't wanna say it out loud, cause you don't want to disappoint yourself, in the event that it isn't true. So you just keep a poker face, like.

"Nah."

And you wait for your friends to disagree with you, and start listing reasons why you should believe them. And you'll keep on denying it, but you'll know that that's what you planned all along. Because everyone just wants assurance. And if it turns out to be true, you'll act surprised. Like you never expected it to happen. 

Think about it. Why do people bother taking those "Does he like you?" quizzes? Or read magazine articles (or blog posts ;) ) about how to know if somebody likes you? Because we love it. We crave it. We all want to hope. You say no, so your friends will remind you again, why it's a yes. You just want to be sure that you don't let your thoughts run wild, until you're 100% sure that it's the truth.

Why? Because we wanna be surprised when it does happen? Because we don't wanna seem overconfident, or conceited? Possibly. But why do we put in so much effort to convince ourselves that we just aren't that lucky? To make ourselves look on the darker side of things? It's because we're scared. Because we don't wanna get hurt. It's become such a routine for us - automatic, even. To immediately expect the worst out of a situation. It's our way of protecting ourselves, our system of self-defense. But it's not foolproof, you know. We might think that if we don't expect the best, we won't be disappointed. 

Which, chances are, we still will be.

You turn yourself down before you can even get a chance to see for yourself. Cause if it doesn't end with a happy ending, we can pretend like we knew it wouldn't all along. But who are we kidding? You know you wanted it to. You know you were hoping for it to. 

Whether we say we believe it or not, our heart is still going to hope. That's just what it does, that's it's job. To hope for the best. It leaves preparing for the worst, to the brain. Where other logical thinking is carried out. But the heart keeps hoping. And secretly, you know wanted the story to end with one of your friends telling you that you should've listened to them, cause they were right.

I'm sure no one enjoys being wrong, or being proven wrong. But there are some rare occasions in which we want and hope to be. And of course, though we try to deny it on the surface, and act like we're confident it's false, we're still holding on to that thin thread of hope. And maybe, just maybe. We'll get what we've been hoping to hear all along, from the people that believed what we were too afraid to.

"I told you so."

They don't like my jeans, they don't get my hair.

It's funny how people always have something to talk about. To criticize you about. And the ones that talk the most, know you the least. Whether it's what you say, or how you say it. What you wear, and how you wear it. No matter what you do, there's going to be someone out there who's gonna hate you for it. I'm sure no one enjoys being criticized for every little thing they do, right?

Everyone is guilty of judging others,

everyone is a hypocrite.

There's no clear definition of what is and isn't allowed in this society. So it becomes easy for people to judge others based on their own opinions. Every individual has their own opinion of what is "inappropriate". And this opinion will keep on changing, and changing, as they become more exposed to the world around them. So what you didn't approve of yesterday, could very well be something that you're gonna do tomorrow. 

Whenever we criticize others for doing something, chances are, we do the same. Or at least have done it before. Come on. Everyone makes mistakes right? Even you. And when you were making them, there were probably others that were looking down on you too. Did it feel great? To have people scrutinize your every move? Did it feel great to be so cautious of your actions that you couldn't even be yourself anymore? 

Majority of the time, once we have a grudge against someone, everything they do is going to upset us. And we're going to have to deal with that. As much as I'd like to, I can't go around blaming someone for something they didn't do. I also can't make a big deal out of something that just, isn't. Don't throw daggers at someone out of anger, then regret it later. Have some reason behind the things you say. 

So much of what we think of others, is based on what we've heard. And so much of what we've heard, has been exaggerated, or even made up. By someone who probably only knew half the story. You don't know someone, until you know someone. 

Think about it. How many times have we met somebody that we first thought to be unpleasant, and then we came to realize that they're actually a nice person? And it's because we got influenced by something someone decided to say, out of their anger, or out of their judgement. 

Let's be honest. You be yourself, people talk. You don't be yourself, people talk. People are going to talk either way. If you're gonna piss someone off, at least do it being yourself, so you have nothing to regret later on. People are going to decide what they know about you, from what they hear and what they see. They are going to decide what kind of person you are, from what you wear and who you talk to. 

It's funny how people always have something to talk about. To criticize you about. And the people that talk the most, know you the least. But the people that do know who you are, and what you're like, aren't going to be shaken by rumors. It'll take time, but you'll find the these people. And when you do, you'll have

nothing to fear. ❤